Shattered
by ChristyK
Summary: Van and Deaq go after gay bashers. WARNING: This story contains a male rape scene and words that might offend some people. It is not my intention to offend anyone, only to tell a story


Shattered Image

Gay bashing had become the summer's most popular sport in the bars of L.A.

Straight men were entering gay bars and picking up partners, then luring them outside where their friends would be waiting. The men were then beaten almost beyond recognition. Three of them had been raped, one later dying from his injuries. The uniformed police were getting nowhere. The gay men wouldn't talk to them in fear of retaliation. Captain Parish had turned the investigation over to the undercover units. Billie's unit was one of them. They sat around her desk discussing the operation.

"I guess the only way to play this is to get one of you guys in with the gays and the

other in with the men we think are attacking them. There is one group of men that we

think are responsible for the majority of the attacks. Their leader seems to be a man

called Jackson. He and his buddies have been seen hanging around a gay bar called the

Rainbow Lounge. It's up to you two to decide who wants to play which part."

"Call it." Deaq said to Van as he took a quarter out of his pocket and flipped it.

"Tails."

Heads came up, Deaq turned to Van and smiled.

"I'll play it straight, besides with the clothes you've been wearing lately you'll fit right in with the gay scene."

"Very funny." Van looked over at Billie. "When do we start?"

"Now is as good a time as any. And as usual watch your backs. You won't be able to back each other up if anything goes wrong."

Van and Deaq headed for the door. Billie smiled as she listened to their banter on the way out. Deaq put his arm around his partner's shoulders.

"Where **did **you get those clothes partner?"

"Hey, these are designer clothes, I paid a bundle for them."

"Looks to me like you got them at Gays R Us."

"Just because **you** have no taste in clothes, women..........."

"Oh, is that right. Well let me tell you............."

Billie shook her head as the door closed behind them.

The next few weeks were spent getting close to the different groups of men. Van

with the gay men and Deaq with the gay bashers. Van had started hanging out with the

gay men at the bars and Deaq would come in almost every night and harass them.

The group of men they were suspicious about began taking notice of Deaq and began

buying him beers and eventually invited him to their table. He was in. Deaq

concentrated his harassment mostly on Van. So far, since there had been no violence at

the bar the proprietor could not legally keep the men out. He hated the fact that his

clientele were forced to listen to the men taunt them almost nightly but the police had

been by numerous times and told him there was nothing they could do as long as no one

was physically harmed. This night was no different, Deaq sat at a table with the men

while Van and the gay men sat at the bar and tried their best to ignore them. Finally a

young man sitting next to Van got up and walked over to the table. He had had enough.

of their verbal abuse. Van tried to stop him by grabbing his arm but the boy pulled away

from him.

"Hey, why don't you just leave us alone? We're not bothering you."

"You bother us just by being in our city." Randy, one of the more vocal men,

stated.

"Why don't you just go to another bar? The city's big enough for all of us."

"Why don't you just get the hell off the planet queer." Randy stood up and

grabbed the boys arms twisting it behind him. Van reacted immediately. He ran over

and pulled the boy away from Randy. He had become friends with most of the gay men

in the bar and was tired of seeing them constantly harassed.

"Well, look what we have here. Some fag trying to be a hero." Randy said as he

pushed Van, who stood his ground. Randy suddenly threw a punch at Van who

avoided the punch but returned one that put Randy on the floor. As he went down he

bumped a picture of beer which poured all over him. He got up incensed and threw

another punch which was also ducked by Van. Van reached over and grabbed the off

balanced man by the back of his pants and sent him flying into the empty table next to

Deaq. The bartender finally had enough and came over holding a baseball bat.

"I don't want any of this in my bar. Take it out back."

Randy stood up, his face red with embarrassment. He could hear his friends laughing.

He had just been made a fool of by a gay man. He glared at Van.

"Come on queer, let's go out back."

Van was about ready to take the man up on his offer but a look at Deaq who gave his

head a little shake convinced him otherwise. He turned and headed back to the bar.

with Randy following him. Jackson seeing the bartender pick up the phone knew

it was time to leave.

"Let's get out of here before the cops get here." He stood up and Deaq and the

rest of the men started to follow him. Deaq turned around and watched as Randy

walked over and stood in front of Van.

"I'll see you later queer. You're going to regret this." Randy turned and

stormed out of the bar. Deaq glanced at Van before following the men out. The

boy Van had helped thanked him but then added.

"You better be careful. You really showed that guy up in front of his friends.

He's not going to be happy."

Deaq went back with the group to one of the houses the men hung out at. They sat

around laughing and mocking Randy.

"You let that little queer get the better of you." One of the men said laughing.

"**Go to hell**! That fag got in a lucky punch. Next time I see him he won't be so

lucky."

"Next time you see him give him a kiss for me." Jackson said smiling.

"I'll give him more then a little kiss." Randy said storming out of the house.

Later they all met back at the Candy Store. Van and Billie were already there

when Deaq came in, he was angry.

"**What the hell did you think you were doing back there**?"

"Sorry, I just got tired of them pushing those guys around."

"Well you know what you did? You just put a big target on your back partner."

"Deaq is right Van. I told you to go in there and keep an eye out for trouble, not

to start it." Billie said as she put down the report she was looking at.

"Randy's pissed. He's coming after you." Deaq said pointing at Van.

"I can handle Randy."

"Are you even listening to me Van? Randy is coming after you, and he won't

come alone." Deaq was getting angrier. Van had just made himself a target, and there

was no way he'd be able to help him without breaking their cover.

"Maybe I should pull you off this case. We can send someone else in." Billie

spoke up.

"I'll be careful Billie. I'll stay with the crowd and I won't go out alone."

"Okay, but I want you both to be extra careful. This could blow up in our

face." Billie looked down at the report. "Now let's go over what we know so far."

The following night they once more gathered at the bar. Both Van and Randy

kept a wary eye on each other, but there was no trouble. A few words were

exchanged between the two groups of men but most of the night was spent drinking.

At one thirty Van left the bar with some of the gay men. Deaq breathed a sigh of

relief when no one followed him out.

Outside Van separated from the group and walked over to his car.

"Damn!" he said looking down at his tire which was flat. He opened up his

trunk, took out the jack, and started to change it.

Back in the bar Deaq watched as Randy and about half of the gang got up to

leave. Van should be long gone by now he thought sitting back and finishing his

beer.

Outside, Van sensed something wasn't right. He looked up in time to see the

men approaching him from both sides. His only option of escape was an alley behind

him. He ran down it hoping it wouldn't lead to a dead end. Halfway down the alley he

realized he had made a big mistake. It **was** a dead end. He spun around looking for someway out. He was completely surrounded and knew he was in big trouble. As they slowly closed in on him he managed to take out a few of them but he didn't have a chance. There were just too many of them. He caught a glimpse of Randy standing among the crowd just before a glancing blow by a club rendered him unconscious.

A little while later Jackson and the rest of the men including Deaq decided to leave and go to one of the houses to play poker. They entered the house, then sat around drinking beer and playing cards. They had been there about an hour when Deaq heard laughing and whistling coming from the back room.

"Sounds like they're having a good time." Deaq said looking toward the door that led to the back room.

"Yeah, sure does." Jackson replied. "Let's go check it out."

They got up, opened the door and entered the room. It was crowded, there had to be at least twenty men in the room. They made there way to the front of the room. Deaq sucked in his breath as he saw them dragging Van across the floor. Two men walked on either side of him with Randy following. Van hung between them, barely conscious. Deag could tell that he had been hurt by the way he stumbled between the two men. He instinctively took a step toward his partner; his only thought was to get him away from these men.

"Hey don't be in such a hurry. There's plenty for all of us." Jackson grabbed Deaq's arm and pulled him back.

As Van started to regain consciousness he could feel himself being dragged across a floor. He could hear laughing and talking in the background. Opening his eyes, he realized he had been blindfolded. He panicked and started to struggle but the men holding him were too strong and everything was spinning from the blow to his head. He was roughly thrown against a table knocking the wind out of him. He tried to turn around but was pinned face down. Both arms were pulled out to his side and twisted causing Van to gasp in pain as his arms felt like they were being torn from their sockets. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he wondered what they were gong to do. He soon found out. Randy came up behind him and Van felt him reach around and unzip his pants. He struggled in vain as Randy pulled his pants down. The laughing in the room increased in volume. Van's heart pounded in his chest as he realized he was helpless. They were too strong for him. He used every ounce of strength he had left to try and pull away but his head was pulled up by his hair then slammed back on the table. Blood ran down his face from a deep cut on the bridge of his nose.

"Now we're going to have us some fun queer." Randy said.

He could hear the man unzipping his pants.

"Spread them boy." Randy put his hands on each side of Van's hips.

When Van didn't move he was punched hard in the kidney. His legs gave out as the pain radiated up his body. The men on either side of Van pulled him back up and put their foot on the inside of each of his feet and forced his legs apart.

"**No! Please don't do this!" **

Deaq watched in horror, his heart pounding. _Oh God don't let them do this to him_ He looked around frantically looking for someway to help his partner, but he knew there was nothing he could do. There were too many of them. If he tried anything both he and Van wouldn't make it out of the room alive. He was certain of that. He slid his hand in his pants pocket and grabbed his cell phone. He glanced around and saw that no one was watching him, all eyes were on the show at the front of the room. He slid the phone out and punched in Billie's number. He then slid the phone back in his pocket. He prayed Billie was there and would trace the call and send help.

Billie picked up the ringing phone and immediately heard all the commotion at the other end. She noticed that Deaq's cell phone was the sender.

"Deaq?" She asked not sure what was going on. She could tell something was happening and it didn't sound good. She immediately put a trace on the phone. While the trace was running she called the station and got a group of officers to act as backup.

Van was breathing hard. This couldn't be happening to him. Not to him. Billie's words kept going through his head. 'Never flash a badge, and never break cover' If he told them he was a cop what would happen? More then likely they would kill him. They wouldn't want a cop to be a witness to what they were going to do. But wouldn't dying be better then this? As he felt the man's hardness press against him he lost it.

"**No! God no don't do this! Please don't do this!" **

He squeezed his eyes shut in pain and clenched his teeth as he felt the man forcing his way into him. A hot burning sensation shot through him and he cried out. _Oh God no. Oh please no_ The pain tore at him. He could hear the man grunting behind him. _Please get it over with, just get it over with_ With each thrust tears of shame ran down his face. _Take it like a man, take it like a_ _man_ He kept repeating to himself. He clenched his teeth and tried not to cry out again. It would only make them enjoy it more. When Randy finally pulled out, Van breathed a sigh of relief. _Thank God, thank God it was over_ But it was not over. Another man entered him, and after him another, then another. Van lost count. Blood and semen ran down his legs. He finally collapsed on the table and stopped struggling. It was only making it worse. He crawled away to a corner of his mind to escape what was happening to him.

Deaq shut his eyes. _God Billie where are you_? He wanted more then anything to run up to his partner and pull them off him, but he knew there was nothing he could do. He was outnumbered twenty to one. His heart broke as he watched them brutalize his partner. Jackson walked over to him and slapped him on the back.

"Why don't you go up there and get yourself some of that?"

Deaq took a deep breath and fought to control his rage as he turned to Jackson.

"I'm not into that."

"Hey, I thought you hated these queers as much as me."

"I do, but........I'm just not into that."

"Well I'm going to get me some."

Jackson headed to the front of the room. He grabbed Van by the hair and pulled his head up.

"Not looking so pretty anymore are you boy?" He said laughing. He unzipped his pants. "Let him go. I want to shove it in his mouth."

The two men holding Van down released him and he slid to the ground. He lay on the ground trying to catch his breath as he pulled his pants up. Jackson reached over and grabbed his hair and pulled him to his knees.

"You're loving this aren't you queer? Let me hear you say it. Say you love it."

Van said nothing, but hung like a puppet from the man's hand.

"Come on boy say you love it."

"Go to hell." Van said softly through teeth clenched in pain.

Jackson left go of his hair and kneed him in his face. Van fell down but was immediately pulled back up by Jackson.

"Okay boy, open wide."

Van clenched his teeth and turned his head. He wanted it over. He just wanted to die.

"Come on queer. You gave them some, now give me some. **Open it**"

"**Let him go!" **Deaq yelled, he couldn't take it anymore. He knew by speaking up he had probably just got them both killed.

"**What?!"**

"**I said leave him go!"** Deaq ran up to the table and pushed Jackson away from Van. Van, still on his knees, swayed unsteadily.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? I thought you hated these queers." Jackson asked confused.

"I do but he's had enough, you're going to kill him." Deaq still tried to keep their cover intact. It was the only way to possibly get them out of this alive.

"The queer's use to this. He loves it. Don't you boy?" Jackson said as he reached out to grab Van's hair again.

Deaq grabbed Jackson by the arm.

"**I said he had enough!"**

Somewhere in the back of Van's mind he heard his partner. What was Deaq doing here? Why didn't he stop them before, before.................He didn't want to remember. This, this didn't happen. His partner never would have left this happen to him................But he had.

"Hey maybe you'd like some of what we gave him. Maybe you got a little queer in you too". Randy said as he walked over.

The other men started advancing on Deaq and Van. Deaq pulled Van up off the floor and pushed him against the wall. He stood protectively in front of him. This wasn't going to be good.

"**Let's get them!"** Randy cried out as the majority of the men rushed Deaq and Van. Deaq tried his best to keep them off of Van but there were too many of them. He heard his partner's painful cry as he was kicked and beaten to the floor. Deaq was being hit also, but he could tell they were out to kill Van.

"**Police! Everybody freeze!" **It was Billie. She fired a bullet into the ceiling to get their attention. The police began moving in breaking up the mob. As the men were pulled off Deaq he immediately went to his partner. Van lay on the floor semi conscious. Deaq pulled off the blood soaked blindfold and threw it to the side. Van's face was covered in blood, his hair matted by it. Tears filled Deaq's eyes as he pulled Van's body into his arms. He could hear Van's breaths coming in short little gasps and figured his ribs must be broken.

"Just try to breathe easy partner. Help's here, they can't hurt you anymore."

Van's mouth moved but no sound came out as he tried to talk. Bubbles of blood were on his lips.

"Try not to talk. Just rest partner, just rest." Using his shirt Deaq tried to wipe the blood from Van's mouth. Seeing his partner in the condition he was in broke Deaq's heart. Van kept trying to talk so Deaq leaned down and put his ear next to Van's mouth.

"Leave..............me..............alone. Get..............get away from me." Van managed to get out in little gasps.

Deaq looked at his partner, he must have heard him wrong. Why would his partner not want his help?

"Van, it's me partner. It's me." Deaq pushed Van's bloody hair out of his eyes.

"I..............I know.............I know who you are. Just leave................just leave me alone." Van tried to stand but the exertion was too much for his battered body. He crumbled in a heap at Deaq's feet.

Deaq sat on the floor and pulled Van's unconscious body up into a sitting position and held him against him hoping to help him breathe better.

"**Billie! Billie I need help over here**!" Deaq yelled over to his boss who was busy rounding up the men. Hearing him, she hurried over.

"Oh my God Deaq what happened?" She knelt down beside him. She could see that Deaq had also been injured but not nearly as bad as Van. She couldn't believe how bad he had been beaten. She yelled for the police to call for a paramedic. A few of the police officers came over to her.

"I want all of these men held for assault and battery."

The officers nodded and walked away.

"Billie................there's more." Deaq spoke up, tears glistening in his eyes.

"What?" She was worried, she could see something was very wrong.

"They................they............they did more then beat him." Deaq couldn't say the word. He didn't want to relive what had happened to Van. He didn't want to believe it himself.

Billie's mouth dropped slightly open and her eyes filled with pain. She understood.

"Oh God Deaq no. Not that, not Van."

Deaq nodded as a tear ran down his face. He wiped it angrily away. Billie also had tears in her eyes as she looked at Van. His handsome face covered in blood and bruises, his body hanging limp in his partner's arms.

The paramedics finally arrived and Van was rushed to the hospital and into the emergency room. Billie and Deaq entered the waiting room, Billie walked over and looked out the window while Deaq kept pacing back and forth as he told Billie what had happened.

Two hours later the doctor finally came into the waiting room.

"I'm sorry but he's in bad shape. He's conscious, but in a lot of pain. As far as we can determine he has a concussion, a broken rib which has punctured his lung, and of course the injuries from the rape. But what really concerns me right now is his right kidney, it's badly bruised and he might lose it. The kidney is swollen to almost twice its normal size and he has a lot of blood in his urine. We'll try and treat him and see if we can bring the swelling down. We have him on antibiotics but I don't know if we can save it. We also gave him a HIV test."

Deaq shook his head sadly and walked over to the small window in the door of the ER and looked in at his partner. Van was lying on the cot his head pushed hard back against the pillow, his face etched with pain. Their eyes met for a moment and Deaq was taken back by the pain and hurt in Van's eyes. Van quickly turned his head away.

"I got to see him." Deaq said softly.

"Maybe once we get him settled, but right now I need to get him up to the operating room and get his lung repaired. There's nothing you can do here. I suggest you both go home, get some rest, and I'll call you when he's in a room."

"I'm staying." Deaq said as he pulled himself away from the window and sat back down.

"We're both staying."

The doctor nodded and headed back into the emergency room.

They watched as Van was wheeled out of the emergency room and taken to the operating room. He had been given a sedative and lay unconscious on the cot. Both Billie and Deaq were glad that at least he was no longer in pain. They held each other's hand as the gurney past them. They then sat back down on the couch. Deaq covered his face with his hands as he gave into the emotions that the last few hours had brought.

"Billie, they hurt him so bad. I couldn't do anything. I had to stand there and watch them. I couldn't help him, he needed me and I couldn't help him. I just stood there and watched." Deaq got up and slammed his fist into the wall. He winced in pain as he held his hand.

"Deaq there was nothing you could have done. There were too many of them. If you would have tried anything you both would probably be dead. You did the right thing. You called for help, that's all you could have done. Van knows that."

"I don't know Billlie. You didn't see the look in his eyes. He told me to leave him alone. He didn't want me near him." Deaq's voice cracked.

"He was in pain Deaq. He didn't know what he was saying."

"I hope so Billie. I hope so."

Hours later Van was taken from the operating room and moved into the ICU unit. The doctor gave strict orders that no one could see him until he was moved to his own room. Three days later he was. Deaq and Billie had stood vigil throughout the long days. Finally they would be allowed to see him. They greeted the doctor as he came into the waiting room.

"How's he doing?" Deaq asked.

"He's still in a lot of pain but physically I think he should be okay in a few weeks if everything goes well. Mentally I'm not so sure. He's been through a traumatic experience. He need to come to terms with it. A man isn't suppose to be raped. They're suppose to be strong, something like this isn't suppose to happen to them. That's what he's thinking. We've had our psychiatrist talking to him but I think he's going to need to see someone once he leaves the hospital. He has a lot of anger and pain inside of him. He needs to realize there was nothing he could have done to have avoided this. The rape was a sign of violence not sexual. These men wanted revenge and by humiliating him they got what they wanted. He's been very emotionally damaged."

"We need to see him Doctor." Billie said.

"I'm afraid he doesn't want to see anyone."

"He'll see me, I'm his partner." Deaq started walking toward Van's room but was stopped when the doctor grabbed his arm.

"I'm very sorry but he specifically said he didn't want to see you." Seeing the hurt look on Deaq's face the doctor patted him on the back. "I'm sorry. I've seen this happen before. The victim twists things around in his head and blames the person that is closest to him."

"I got to see him. I got to explain what happened. Why I couldn't help him."

"I'm sorry I can't let you. I have to honor his request while he's here."

Billie put her arm around Deaq and led him back to the couch. He looked emotionally drained. The last few days had been hell for both of them and now this. Deaq sat down stunned.

"God Billie, what am I going to do? He hates me. He blames me for what happened to him."

"Deaq, he's hurt. He's been through a hell neither one of us can really understand. Give him time. Van has a big heart, I'm sure he'll come around."

"But what if he doesn't Billie? I need him to know that I went through hell too, watching what they did to him. If I could have done anything to help him I would have. I need him to know that."

The doctor stepped forward. He had an idea.

"You're his boss right?" He said to Billie.

"Yes."

"Well since he's a police officer he'll have to see you before he's cleared to leave the hospital. There will be all kinds of forms you both will have to sign."

"When will that be?"

"I'd like to keep him at least a week yet. Then he'll be able to go home but will need to rest for at least another two more weeks before returning to light duty. It might be a while before he can return to regular duty. "

"She can't talk to him before that?" Deaq said.

"I'm afraid not. I have to honor his wishes."

Seeing the disappointed look on Deaq's face she took his hand.

"Just give him time Deaq, just a little more time."

The week dragged by slowly, but finally the day Van was to be released arrived. Billie and Deaq were both at the hospital.

"Deaq, I know you're anxious to see Van but let me handle this."

"Billie............."

"I know, I'll talk to him." Billie knew Deaq had been extremely depressed all week and that the only thing that would cure him was to have his partner back. She prayed Van would listen to her. The doctor came and led Billie to Van's room.

Van was sitting on the edge of the bed when she entered. He sat with his head hanging down staring at the floor. Billie walked over to him and stood in front of him.

"Van, I'm glad you're better and can go home. We've been so worried about you."

He didn't answer her or even look up, but he did nod.

"Is there anything you need? Anything I can do for you?"

"No, I just want to go home." He said quietly.

"We need to sign some papers then I guess you're free to go. I'll drive you."

"Thanks."

"Van................Deaq's here............He needs to see you."

"I don't want to see him." He finally looked up and she could see the hurt in his eyes.

"He's blaming himself for all this. It's tearing him apart. He thinks it's his fault."

"It is his fault. He stood there and watched them..............he watched them..........." Van shut his eyes. "And he didn't try to stop them till it was too late."

"Van, there was nothing he could do. There were too many of them. He didn't..............."

"I would have stopped them Billie." He said his eyes flashing angrily. "I would have stopped them before they did this to him."

"You both probably would have been killed."

"Probably? Well you know what, it would have been better then this. They took everything from me, my dignity, my security, everything." Van blinked back tears. "And he didn't stop them."

"Van, I really think you need to.........."

"I just want to go home Billie, I just want to go home." Van interrupted her.

She didn't want to push him.

"Okay, okay I'll take you home."

Van was released and refused to even look at Deaq as they past the waiting room. Billie gave her head a small shake when she saw Deaq start to walk toward them. Her heart broke for him but right now she needed to get Van home and settled in. She walked him up to his house and made him promise to check in once a day so she'd know he was okay. He promised her he'd be fine and that right now all he wanted was to be left alone. She didn't want to bring up the trial but knew she had to.

"I hate to bring this up Van but we're going to need you to testify against these men."

"I can't, I can't Billie."

"Look, don't worry about it right now, we'll work something out with the judge. I promise, everything will be fine."

"No, I don't think so Billie. Nothing will ever be fine." He turned and went into his house.

On the way back to the Candy Store Billie finally allowed herself to cry. She cried

for Van, who was a shattered, shell of the man he use to be. She cried for Deaq whose heart was broken by his partner's refusal to see him. And she cried for herself. She had lost two men she cared about, each to their own pain.

When she opened the door to the Candy Store Deaq was waiting. She looked at his sad questioning eyes.

"I'm sorry Deaq. I tried to explain but he's, he's................." She suddenly started sobbing. She tried to stop, she swore she wouldn't do this in front of either of them but she couldn't stop. Deaq put his arm around her and pulled her close.

"It'll be okay Billie. We'll get him back."

"I don't think so Deaq, I really don't think so. He's been so hurt, he's not himself, and I don't think he'll ever be."

Suddenly Deaq pulled away.

"**Damn them! Damn them for doing this to him...........to all of us!"**

He headed for the door.

"Deaq! Where are you going?!"

"To see my partner."

He was out the door before she could say anything.

When he arrived at Van's house he saw that the living room light was on. He walked over and looked in the window. His eyes widened in fear. Van sat on his sofa holding a gun in his lap. Deaq watched in horror as he raised it to his head. Deaq flew to the front door.

"**Van! Van I know you're in there! Open the door!" **He shouted as he pounded on the door. When his partner didn't answer, he backed up and kicked the door in. Van stood up, the gun hanging at his side.

"**Get out of here!" **

"**What the hell do you think you're doing?!"** Deaq walked toward his partner.

"What do you care?"

"Give me the gun Van." Deaq put his hand out. He winced inwardly when he saw the deep pain in Van's eyes.

"No. I want you out of here."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Then you get to watch." Van put the gun to his head.

"Van, take it easy. You don't want to do this." Deaq's heart pounded with fear.

"I'm telling you one last time, get out"

"**Van please! You're my partner man, I love ya!"**

"**You love me?!** Then why did you leave them do that to me? Why didn't you try to stop them?!" Tears welled up in Van's eyes.

"**My God Van don't you think I wanted to?** Don't you think it was killing me inside watching them hurt you?" If I could have I would have died trying to help you but I knew it wouldn't do any good. They would have just killed you anyway." Tears ran down Deaq's face. "I need you partner! I can't lose you!"

Van slowly lowered the gun. Tears ran down his face.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Van kept repeating, the gun hanging at his side. Deaq cautiously walked over and took the gun from his partner. He then pulled Van into a hug.

"We'll get you through this partner."

"God Deaq...........I'm so messed up, I can't think straight, I don't even know who I am anymore."

"Hey man, you're still you. You didn't ask for this, it was forced on you. You're no less of a man. You're still you, partner."

It took a long time but Van finally recovered from his injuries both physically and mentally with the help of Billie and his partner. He was still required to testify but since he worked undercover the judge allowed him to testify on tape. Due to his undercover work his face was blacked out to protect his identity. With his identity protected, no one would ever know what he had endured unless he told them. The men were convicted and sentenced to twenty years in prison. The gay bashing slowed down due to the publicity of the trial and the arrest of the men most responsible for the attacks. There would always be hate against different groups, that would never end, but at least it was out in the open and people became more tolerant of people who were different then they were. Van would continue to see the police psychiatrist for a while but he was released to return to work. The attack would always be in the back of his mind but he no longer jumped when someone touched him. Deaq finally stop watching Van constantly for any sign of suicidal tendencies. And Billie was glad both men were safe and back together. She knew that Van knew in his heart that a part of Deaq had also died that day. They knew they had each other and together they would get through this.

The End


End file.
